How to deal with the client email that pisses you the f**k off!!

LOL, this blog article was sent to me a few days ago and we thought it was too funny not to share. We've all received communications that threaten to send us over the edge but the reality is we are responsible for our reactions, not the other persons stupidity. Take a page from this article:

I recently I got an email that made me so angry, I straight went H.A.M (hard as a motherfucker) on the keyboard, and I typed a response that would even hesitate Kanye from interrupting me.

Before I clicked send, I saved draft on a word document and showed it to my roommate (THIS WAS A LIFESAVER).

In all his infinite wisdom and glory, he understood what I was trying to do, but he told me to retype it. I was not presenting my best self. My words were appropriate for a school yard fight, and nothing else.

Once I took fifteen minutes to calm down I got back on the keyboard, represented my point of view, and I walked away carrying on with my day. When I got a response, to my surprise, this person had no idea that I was offended, and even typed a very heartfelt clarification.

I felt like two year old that had just exhausted herself from a tantrum. It was a horrible feeling, I started to cry, because the things I was about to say to this person were cruel and personal. If I had sent my first email I know I would have regretted it.

I have no idea where I learned to fire off in this way. It's gotten me in trouble numerous times, but yesterday, I'm glad that my friend and I were able to redeem ourselves, and represent our intentions clearly. At some point, I will let my friend know how endearing he has truly been, and showing me another reason why I am now 29 and not 21. He's inspired me to share some tips for other other fiery email scribers.

1. Say what you wanna say, but copy and paste it on a word document, and walk away. When you are mad, your best self is not talking to you. Your ego is. Walk away and see the situation for it really is.

2. Be Compassionate. Unless the words, cunt whore bitch, was typed in your subject line, it is most likely that something is not being communicated well, and it's probably not a direct attack on you. When you walk away try to think of EVERY intention of why this person wrote this email to you. If you truly feel like you are being under attack, then let god be with you, and forward me your response!

3. Have a Rational Friend Read a Draft of Your Email. I will fully admit I am the biggest hype man. If you say we are gonna fight, I will run and grab my battle ax, and summon the minotaur. So don't call me to be rational! If you get a rational person to read your email, they will most likely sympathize with your reaction, but they will help you get to where you need to go. If they care about you they will help you minimize your infinite demise, by preventing you from communicating an irrational bitch rant. Remember that emails will be forwarded. If your crazy ass is memorable, then your words will live in infamy in the many inboxes of the people you don't even care about.

4. Draft a Response That Your Grandmother Can Read. If you soften the language it will open a better line of communication. You don't need to apologize or give in. Just take out all of the battle language, cuz it ain't gonna help you. You will lose your job, your friend, and your reputation. I have a reputation for being a jerk, but I don't want to be known as a super jerk. I gotta rep to uphold!

5. Type What It Is That You Really Want. Now Cut That in Half. I'm just gonna be real. Women write too much in emails, and we don't really need to. Unless you casting a spell be concise. The recipient will be better affected if you simply type a rational response, rather than documenting your emotional process. There are some emails I've written where I'm like, damn did I write this in a snuggie with a bottle of wine?

6. If The Recipient is Truly An Asshole. It Doesn't Warrant Response. Sit on that for a second. The best way to get back at an asshole is to ignore all of their bloated nonsense. If it's work related take up with a superior. If it's personal, pretend like you never saw it. Sociopaths love attention for all of the messed up things that they do. Only a sociopath/psycho/deranged bitch/major asshole would take the time to rip you apart emotionally through email. They are overgrown babies that need attention. You are not an overgrown baby. You are fabulous.

Article by Boo the Bootch, June 17th 2011: You're 29 not 21: The Angry Email Addition

How To Effectively Solve Any Problem In Your Business, Stress Free, With The Problem Solving Strategy

by Michelle Dale on June 15th 2011

We all have bad days where it feels like everything's going wrong. How do you resolve a problem? We came across this great article and wanted to share it with you.

This Problem Solving Strategy

Whenever I have a problem, I always go through these motions in order to get everything cleared up fast and effectively.

Don’t Get Emotional

First of all you need to look at the problem without emotion, there’s no point in getting all worried, panicked or upset because in actual fact, your emotion is not solving anything, all it’s doing is burning up your energy. If you have to deal with people regarding the problem, you need to stay calm, and not rant, rave, argue or blame. It’s all just BLAH and won’t get you any closer to solving the issue. The quickest way to solve problems is to deal with them rationally rather than emotionally.
Question: Am I in a rational state of mind? If yes, progress on.

Focus On The Actual Problem

You need focus on the problem to start with so you can understand what you need to do – not all the fluff and nonsense surrounding it, because it’s the fluff and nonsense that will cause you to stress out and lose focus. You need to work out how this problem came about, where it stemmed from, what the outcome has been, if there are any further repercussions, and what can actually be done about it. Don’t worry for now about anything else – you need to stay on form and deal with this issue. So focus JUST on the problem itself and understanding it.
Question: Do I fully understand the problem? If yes, progress on.

Know Who Is In Control

The best kind of problems are the ones you can do something about, for example, a client has spotted a mistake in their work, this is something you can rectify ASAP, if you can – do it, whatever it takes. But there are things outside of your control, such as 3rd party systems or technology for example, people who have said things they shouldn’t have, or done something silly and created a problem for you, these things are not in your control, you need to simply accept it and work around the issue to the best of your ability. You can’t ‘do’ anything about things which are not within your control.
Question: Am I completely clear on what I personally am in control of? If yes, progress on.

 

VOWELS – AEIOU

Action, Explain, Inform, Own Up!
Now you need to take action immediately – be productive in doing whatever is in your control regarding the problem. If the problem was caused by you, or is your responsibility, the only option is to own up and be honest about it, but also explain to the people affected what you’re doing to resolve it (or what you have done to resolve it – even better). Resolution is the key to quickly getting problems off your plate, if the resolution is out of your control, you need to explain who is responsible and what you know about what they are doing to resolve it – keep people informed. If it’s absolutely necessary to keep people in the dark, fine, don’t tell them every little detail, be general, but the point is, if the problem may have an impact on their business or work, you have to say something… Them finding out from another source is going to be a million times worse, than coming from you. Once you have taken the action and you have the situation in hand, explain and inform to the people involved what has happened, what is being done, and the outcome and timeline, and if this was your fault, own up to it and apologise.
Question: Have I worked out what action I need to take, and taken it? If yes, progress on.

 

Relax…

The first thing that used to pop into my head with any problem was, “What’s this going to do to my business?” As long as you always do your best, you are honest and give it your all as a business owner, your problems will be few, and the likelihood is that in the grand scheme of things it won’t have a major impact on your business, maybe a minor one at the time, but not to the brink of total destruction. Minor problems soon become yesterday’s news and you’ll wonder why you worried about it in the first place. As long as you can honestly say that you have done everything you can, that’s all you can do. Relax, and periodically monitor the situation and provide updates if it’s not yet finalised.
Question: Have I stopped beating myself up over this and/or know that I have done everything I could? If yes, progress on.

 

Prevention Is Better Than Cure

If my website would go down for the day because of the hosting for example, I would worry about it the whole time unnecessarily. That’s an entire day that I would be terribly unproductive, not really getting anything done, because I was too busy worrying about something that I had no control over – worrying is a total waste of time, and seriously, limit your worrying to times when you actually have something serious to worry about – minor setbacks or issues don’t warrant the stress factor. Now with every problem I have, I will always look to see if there is a way I can prevent it next time, if it’s feasible for me, then I will do it. Last year I invested in a more expensive but super-reliable dedicated server, and ‘touch wood’ I don’t have that issue anymore. Yes it costs me several hundred dollars a month, (I have a lot of systems/sites) but I will happily pay it for peace of mind and elimination of that concern.
Question: Can I now do something to prevent the problem in future? If yes, then do it!

Whenever you have a problem arise in your business, and of course it’s inevitable one day you might, ask yourself these questions and deal with the situation efficiently, go through the strategy for solving the problem, rather than let it burn you out.  You’ll find that your time is better spent getting perspective — then taking action, as opposed to worrying and feeling anxious.

 

Got any problem solving tips or thoughts on this post? Comments welcomed below